There’s a moment every parent recognises – the one where your child does something so unexpected, so irrational, that your brain scrambles for a response… and usually lands on the wrong one.

(Hook used: “Relatable Parenting Moment” – because it immediately connects with the emotional confusion and pressure parents feel in real-life behaviour challenges.)

When Logic Goes Out the Window

Picture this: Joshua throws a brick at his cousin’s head. Not ideal. Not even slightly acceptable. Your instincts kick in – punishment, consequences, removal of privileges. You want to fix it fast, restore order, and make sure it never happens again.

But here’s the problem – in high-stress parenting moments, logic often disappears. Research in developmental psychology shows that when emotions run high, both adults and children rely on reactive, not reflective, thinking. That means the strategies we use are often inconsistent, confusing, and sometimes even counterproductive.

And children notice that inconsistency far more than we think.

Sometimes the right answer is already inside you – it just needs the right question to unlock it.

The Power of a Slightly Ridiculous Question

This is where the “Give Him a Banana” quiz comes in.

It sounds absurd, and that’s exactly the point.

The quiz presents a series of fictional (and sometimes exaggerated) scenarios based on real-life behaviours. Each question offers multiple choice answers, but answer A is always the same: “Give him a banana.”

Of course, giving a banana isn’t the real solution to most behavioural issues. The brilliance lies in what happens next.

By removing one obvious option as “wrong” or irrelevant, both parent and child are gently nudged to consider the remaining choices more carefully. They begin to think rather than react. They evaluate consequences, fairness, and what actually makes sense.

And here’s the fascinating part – when parents and children complete the quiz together, they almost always arrive at the same “right” answers.

Not because they’ve been told what to think.

But because, deep down, they already know.

Turning Answers into Agreements

Once the quiz is complete, something powerful happens.

You now have a ready-made behaviour plan – one that hasn’t been imposed, shouted, or negotiated through tears. Instead, it’s been co-created.

Both you and your child have agreed, through calm and considered thinking, what the appropriate responses should be in different situations. That agreement is gold.

Because when the next challenging moment arises – and it will – you’re no longer inventing rules on the spot. You’re referring back to something you both decided together.

This dramatically reduces conflict.

It increases consistency.

And most importantly, it gives your child a sense of ownership over their own behaviour.

And when children feel involved rather than controlled, their willingness to cooperate changes completely.

The One Time a Banana Really Is the Answer

There is, however, one exception in the quiz.

The final question.

“Sophie is hungry but has refused her dinner four times. What should you do?”

And this time, the correct answer really is: give her a banana.

Because sometimes behaviour isn’t about defiance, attitude, or discipline at all.

Sometimes it’s about basic needs.

Fatigue. Hunger. Overwhelm.

And one of the most overlooked truths in parenting is this: you can’t correct behaviour until you’ve understood the cause.

The “banana” becomes symbolic. A reminder to pause and ask – what’s really going on here?

Is this behaviour… or is this a need?

This simple, slightly playful quiz has proven to be incredibly effective, not because it teaches parents something new, but because it reveals what they already know – and helps them apply it consistently.

And in the world of parenting, consistency isn’t just helpful.

It’s everything.

by Gemma Bailey (with the help of Ai)

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