It’s exam results time again and while many young people are out celebrating their success, others are feeling disappointed and worried about their future. So what can you do to support your child if they haven’t had good news today?

1. Show them how much you love them. Offer lots of hugs and physical contact to help them heal. Knowing that they are loved unconditionally will help them to see the bigger picture.

2. Don’t get angry or show your disappointment. You can’t change what happened, you can only move forward with constructive support. We have all failed at some point in our lives and this is not the time for recriminations or reminders about all the times you told them to study more.

3. Encourage them to keep active and do things they enjoy to help distract them from negative thoughts. Arrange a day out or do something constructive together like painting the shed or baking a cake.

4. Be there for them. They will need your support while they go through the natural process of adjustment and acceptance.

5. Have an open conversation. When they are ready, talk things through in an honest and supportive way. Let them see that you are not there to blame and shame but to help them find a path to the next exciting stage in their life. This is just a temporary setback and there is always a way forward.

6. Show them that failure is a natural part of life. Think about how you cope with failure or disappointment. Children learn from watching their parents and if we constantly beat ourselves up over our mistakes then why would we expect our kids to do things differently?

7. Remind them that some of the most successful people failed many times before achieving their goals. Learning from our mistakes is part of life and helps us grow. Richard Branson, Henry Ford, JK Rowling, Walt Disney – the list of famous people who struggled before finding success goes on and on.

8. Don’t compare them to other children or siblings. Make sure they know that you see them as individuals and value their strengths.

9. Help them find extra support if you feel they need it. NLP offers effective techniques for dealing with negative emotions and setting goals for the future.

10.Finally, remind them that failure and disappointment is normal. It happens to everyone. How else would we get the chance to grow and do even better next time?

By Helen Willis

To find out more visit me:

https://nlp4kids.org/practitioners/helen-willis