This month’s article will explore how your parenting or teaching style has been shaped by the individuals who raised and taught you. It’s crucial for you to understand this because some of the approaches you’ve adopted may not truly reflect who you are or how you want to be. That’s why I’m going to encourage you to reflect on your own experiences and history and identify any parallels you can find. Pay attention to the similarities between the experiences you’ve had and the experiences you’re now creating for others. It’s worth noting that some parents and teachers are so aware of their own past experiences that they make a conscious effort to provide an environment that is completely different from what they had.

Another reason why conducting this self-audit is important is because most of the time, we’re not fully aware of our actions, words, reactions, and behaviours. These are the areas where the programming we’ve received unconsciously manifests. If you’ve noticed that your home is sometimes chaotic, it could be linked to the chaos you experienced as a child. If you find yourself getting stressed in certain situations, you might be recreating the stresses your own parents faced, but you don’t have to continue doing so. Let me share a great analogy with you, which I may have mentioned before, but it’s such a fitting metaphor and it’s relatable somewhere in the world.

Once, a daughter invited her mother over for dinner and was preparing a large piece of pork for their Sunday roast. She told her mother, “Before I roast the pork, I need to cut off the end, a chunk needs to be sliced off.” The mother replied, “That’s correct.” Curious, the daughter asked, “Why do I do this?” The mother answered, “Well, that’s the way your grandma taught me.”

When the grandmother was approached to ask why this tradition was created, the grandmother replied that she always had to cut the end off of the pork because it was always too big for her dish!

The knowledge and practices we inherit from our ancestors can sometimes lose their relevance over time. Just like the story of the pork-cutting tradition, passed down from generation to generation, there are many things that no longer serve a purpose in our lives. It’s important to remember that we have the power to question and improve upon these inherited ways of doing things.

In both our personal and professional lives, we encounter challenging situations that can lead to chaos and heightened emotions. But instead of blindly following what we were taught or programmed to do, we should take a step back and consider if there’s a better way to handle these situations. We have our own unique minds and circumstances, which means there may be alternative approaches that can bring about more positive outcomes.

So, I challenge you to reflect on the things that cause chaos and negative emotions in your life. Is there a different way you can approach these situations? By thinking independently and finding better solutions, you can regain a sense of control and effectively manage those unwanted negative emotions. It’s always beneficial to evaluate the situations we encounter and come up with innovative solutions to improve them.

By Gemma Bailey
www.NLP4Kids.org/gemma-bailey