This article will discuss the topic of responsibility, focusing specifically on mental health. More specifically, I want to address the issue of anxiety.

Recently, I had a conversation with our HR department at work, and it was quite challenging for me to accept their viewpoint. They told me that the mental well-being of individuals in our office is their responsibility, not mine. Hearing this was not easy for me. If you’re interested in learning how to empower others to take responsibility for their mental health, particularly when it comes to anxiety, then keep reading because we will explore this together. I must admit, that I’m still trying to fully grasp this concept!

As someone who isn’t a parent and lacks formal teaching training, it may seem strange that I find myself in a teaching role. However, working in the field of mental health allows me to empathise with the challenges faced by both parents and teachers when supporting young individuals struggling with mental health issues like anxiety. When someone approaches me with a mental health problem, I can offer valuable insights and ideas to help them find resolutions. It’s incredibly difficult for me to hold back and not solve people’s problems when I know exactly what they need to do. Recently, I’ve encountered this challenge both in my workplace and within my circle of friends. During a conversation with our HR department, I discussed ways to support the mental health of my organisation’s employees and reduce anxiety in their lives. To my surprise, the HR consultant emphasised that their mental health is their own responsibility. This perspective felt unfamiliar to me, as I’m accustomed to taking charge and guiding others on the right path.

Now, let me tell you something, do they actually do it? Well, for the most part, they don’t. And that’s because you can guide a horse to the water, but you can’t force it to drink unless you forcefully push its head into the water repeatedly. And even then, there’s still no guarantee that it will drink. So what do we do instead? What we have to do is simply guide them in the right direction, keep our fingers crossed, and hope for the best. But there’s a valid reason behind this approach. It’s because we want to empower others to take responsibility for their own well-being, which brings several benefits to them. Firstly, it allows them to become adept problem solvers, and we highly value that. Secondly, it means that when they face challenges in the future, they won’t necessarily have to rely heavily on others because they have already learned effective strategies to manage themselves. And thirdly, we are helping them build resilience. If every time a young person in your life experiences pain or discomfort, you take it upon yourself to alleviate their burden, you’re not allowing them to develop their own strength.

That can only be sustainable for a limited time. Eventually, they won’t truly understand the full extent of the problem. It’s commendable that you’re showing compassion, but you’ll eventually become exhausted and overwhelmed, even though it was never your responsibility in the first place. So, let me provide you with a few strategies to ensure that we treat people with mental health challenges fairly, without taking on the entire burden ourselves and turning it into our own personal project. Here’s what I want you to consider: Sometimes, it’s not about what you need to start doing. We’re often quick to think, “What’s the solution? What strategy or technique can we use to solve this problem?” We’re skilled at searching for external solutions. However, sometimes the answer lies in what you need to stop doing. In business, for example, if a company isn’t making money, most people focus on increasing sales. But another way to improve profitability is by cutting expenses and stopping certain activities. The same principle applies here. When faced with a young person struggling with a mental health issue, the solution may not be to find something new for them to start, such as a new therapist or intervention. Instead, it might involve identifying what needs to be stopped or eliminated.

Our young people are facing immense pressure in today’s world. They are juggling multiple after-school clubs, drowning in homework, and feeling the weight of GCSE exams. On top of that, their social lives can be overwhelming. Perhaps what they truly need is a break from it all. Maybe it’s time to reconsider staying up late at night or even giving up the Xbox. We must identify the things that we can eliminate to help alleviate their stress.

Another crucial aspect is modelling the behaviours and reactions we want to see from them. If we have an anxious young person in our midst, it’s natural to want to tread lightly and be overly gentle. However, this approach only perpetuates their anxiety. We need to show empathy and sympathy while guiding them towards problem-solving strategies. Life must go on as usual, despite their anxious state. We cannot let their anxiety dictate our actions and create a new dynamic within the family. We must be the example we want them to follow, rather than constantly tiptoeing around the issue.

So, let’s take a moment to reflect on how we behave and react. Let’s be the steady presence they need, pointing them in the right direction while maintaining a sense of normalcy.

“What are you looking forward to today?” instead of “Do you feel well enough to go to school today?” so that we set an expectation of how we want to see them behaving and they feel more inclined to move back to a normal situation, rather than seeing that the situation has been redesigned to work around their abnormality.

The final thing: as I was saying, at the very beginning, you are responsible for your own mental health. In line with that, I have created a programme which has already proven to be effective in helping children and young people aged eight to eleven overcome anxiety. To find out more about this program, visit www.mychildhasanxiety.com.

By Gemma Bailey
www.NLP4Kids.org/gemma-bailey