Within any classroom, there is always that select few of very quiet and shy children who find it very difficult to make friends (sometimes because they appear hostile) and are perceived to have skill deficiencies and lower intellect even though this is not necessarily the case. However, because they hold back and appear withdrawn they fail to make their skills apparent. We also have a concern about their long-term social development should they fail to learn some strategies to help them become braver, more confident and able to form meaningful connections.

Psychologists say that persistent shyness, or shyness that leads to children playing alone can                     be a problem as they miss out on learning important social skills such as sharing and taking turns.  This can affect their cognition and sense of self.

Often for children who are shy with other children of their own age that they see regularly,  it may be because they are anxious about what others think of them or how they think of  
themselves.  This can then lead to them excluding themselves from interacting with  
others and might make them easily victimised.

For parents, this is quite a diffcult situation when their child comes home and is emotionally upset          with the feeling of exclusion, isolation and loneliness.

NLP4Kids have worked with several schools across the UK with this specific issue. The programme          can take place through coaching sessions or workshops within the schools. We also believe that it is important to provide parents with tips and gidance on how they can help their child to become           braver, more confident in their communication.

As a result of becoming braver and more confident in their communication, the children will go on to have better social skills. This also means they will have better language skills which will increase their cognitive development and better changes academicially. They will also have more opportunities to prove what they know and to make their strengths apparent instead of raising suspicion about skills deficiencies.

In addition they will have a greater sense of fitting in and will be able to expand their boundaries in how they live their life in general, meaning that they are more likely to speak up if they experience a problem and will have better opportunities presented to them by others in life, increasing their knowledge and understanding of the world with greater ease.

This also creates a better outlook for their mental well being too as their social circle will become more reliable and they will overcome anxieties and apprehension they may have been on the path to developing.

In summary, these new skills will affect them positively in an emotional, intellectual, linguistic  and social way:

Emotional: Better sense of self and understanding of the emotions of others. They will
have less worry and anxiety and feel as if they have choices instead of being stuck with
the problem of shyness.

Intellectual: As a result of greater levels of social interaction they will learn more from
others by discussing their thoughts and ideas. They will have access to more information and  be able to make better choices as a result.

Language: Their comprehension of language will increase as will their vocabulary. This
carries long term benefits for the fitness of their minds into later life and old age.

Social: Due to their greater social skills they will have more or more improved connections  with others and will form more meaningful relationships with other people. This means
that they are more likely to be good partners and parents later in life.

Financially, making a small investment now to change their trajectory could pay dividens later on, especially if you compare the cost to the cost of helping them to resolve a more  deeply rooted social anxiety, the health challenges that might manifest themselves as an  eventuality of this and the cost associated with them not succeeding as well academically needing further support in the future.

By Gemma Bailey
http://www.NLP4Kids.org/gemma-bailey