Let me tell you a story from my own school days. It’s not a proud one, but it taught me something I’ll never forget. Back in secondary school, I had a geography teacher who seemed to thrive on sarcasm and humiliation. I dreaded his lessons. So, whenever I could, I arranged for my music lessons to fall right in the middle of his geography classes. It was my quiet rebellion – not skipping school, just avoiding one man who made learning feel unbearable.

When Fear Replaces Respect

One day, my geography teacher finally caught on. He stormed into the music room, pulled me and a friend into the corridor and screamed in our faces. I was 14 years old, and the force of his rage made me feel physically unsafe. I can still remember my body’s reaction – frozen in fear, embarrassed, almost losing control of my bladder. It didn’t make me respect him. It didn’t make me care more about geography. It simply reinforced the belief that he was someone to avoid.

Key takeaway sentence for image placement:
Respect, not intimidation, is what unlocks true engagement in young people.

In the end, when it came to choosing between history and geography, guess which subject I picked. His approach didn’t just fail to inspire me, it actively pushed me away from his subject.

The Long Shadow of Childhood Experiences

Fast forward ten years. I was walking to work one morning and there he was, walking towards me. Mr Hearn – the man who once screamed with such intensity that my 14-year-old self felt crushed. He nodded politely and said hello, and in that moment, all the power he once held over me was gone. He wasn’t a terrifying authority figure anymore. He was just a tired-looking man, probably hurt that some of his pupils had chosen to avoid his lessons.

But here’s the point: children don’t see the long game when they’re in school. The way adults behave towards them – especially teachers – leaves a deep and lasting impression. A single humiliating moment can change the way a child sees themselves, their abilities, even the subjects they might go on to study.

Teachers and parents hold far more power than they realise. And the way they use it matters.

Why This Matters for Parents

As parents, you want the best for your child, not just academically but emotionally too. The wrong teaching approach can chip away at confidence, whereas the right one can ignite a lifetime of curiosity. Respect builds trust. Respect creates safety. Respect fosters growth.

That’s why NLP4Kids exists – to give children the tools to manage their emotions, their confidence and their learning experiences. And it’s why our practitioners (who are part of a coaching franchise model) focus on respect first, always. We know that you don’t motivate a child by fear, you empower them by listening and guiding.

When you strip away the intimidation, children flourish. They discover what they’re capable of, they build resilience and they develop respect in return. That’s the kind of support parents are seeking when they turn to an NLP4Kids practitioner. And it’s why our coaching franchise has become such a trusted part of communities across the UK.

A Lesson That Stays With Me

The moral of my story is simple: respect earns engagement, while fear destroys it. My old teacher never got the best out of me, because he never respected me. But that experience fuelled my mission to make sure no child is left feeling powerless, humiliated or small in the classroom.

As parents, you already know how important this is. The question is – who’s helping your child put these lessons into practice?

by Gemma Bailey (with the help of Ai)

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