Believe it or not, your children have gone through some major transitions in their lives. And I’m not just talking about small changes like going from outside to inside the house. I’m talking about big transitions that they have successfully navigated. They have proved that they can cope and move forward. Some of the significant transitions they have already experienced include starting school for the first time or going to nursery. They have even transitioned from living in the womb to the outside world, which is the biggest transition they have ever faced! They may not remember it, but trust me, it happened! And it happened when they were not as intelligent as they are now. Right now, they are the smartest they have ever been. They have more resources and experience than ever before in their lives.

We can use this to their advantage. If they have any anxieties, worries, or uncertainties about an upcoming change, they should know that they already have everything they need within them to handle it smoothly. As human beings, we tend to prefer certainty and predictability in life. We like to know where we are and where we stand. Maybe they had that certainty in their previous class, even if they didn’t particularly enjoy it or like their teacher. They knew what to expect, and that familiarity provided them with a sense of comfort. Now, we often seek more certainty and comfort in our lives.

However, the truth is that quite often, once we settle into a routine and become comfortable, things can start to feel a bit dull. Some of you might be thinking, “Well, I don’t really have any concerns about my child transitioning to my new class or school.” And perhaps that’s because you’ve already realised that they’re ready for a change, ready to take on a new challenge. And if that’s the case, then that’s fantastic because they already have the right mindset towards it.

For those of you who are feeling less at ease with the idea of these upcoming changes, there’s good news. Firstly, going through the discomfort and challenges of adapting to a new place, new faces, and a new environment can actually be incredibly beneficial. It teaches your child to be better prepared for other significant events that may arise in the future. So, when faced with future challenges, they can look back on this experience and say, “If I got through that, I can definitely get through this too.”

Secondly, change can be good because it introduces uncertainty into our lives. As human beings, we need a balance between certainty and uncertainty to keep us engaged and attentive. When we become too comfortable, we tend to lose focus and stop paying enough attention. That’s not ideal for a learning journey. So entering a new environment, meeting new people, and having a new teacher standing in front of them, will make them pay much greater attention. Embrace the uncertainty and use it advantageously.

Remember, change can be a positive thing. It pushes us out of our comfort zones and helps us grow. So, embrace the upcoming changes with an open mind and a positive attitude. You’ll be surprised at how much you can learn and achieve.

Their learning will be optimized, they will truly gain value from change. The reason behind this lies in our brain’s preference for familiarity and certainty. We find comfort in knowing our position and understanding what is happening around us. However, our brains also take notice of what is different. This is where uncertainty, surprise, and unfamiliarity become incredibly valuable to us. So, even though they may experience some anxiety, stress, or uncertainty about the changes ahead, it will greatly benefit their learning abilities. Moreover, it will enhance their emotional resilience, as they will encounter even greater changes and challenges in the future.

Therefore, I will share three tips with them to ease the discomfort of this change, allowing them to navigate through this process as smoothly as possible. They should remember that change is inevitable and although they may not feel entirely comfortable with it yet, we will make it as simple and easy for them as we can.

Firstly, outside of school, it is important for them to engage in activities that are familiar to them. This includes spending time with people they know and visiting places they are familiar with. By doing so, they can balance out the uncertainty of the changing environment with the certainty of knowing their surroundings and the people they are with. This familiarity will make them feel more at ease and counteract any discomfort they may feel about the upcoming changes.

Ensure that despite the upcoming changes in their life, they maintain some consistency in other areas. It’s important for them to hold onto their routines, keep their old friends, and continue visiting familiar places. Remember, this change presents an opportunity for some really good things to happen. However, if they approach it with a negative mindset, they might miss out on these positive experiences. They need to actively engage in and enjoy the good things that come their way, rather than being too caught up in negative thoughts. It’s crucial for them to program their brain by telling themselves each day, “I wonder what good stuff is going to happen today?” This way, they train their mind to look out for positive opportunities throughout the day, even if they initially feel anxious about the change. Lastly, when they find themselves in new environments, whether it’s a different physical space or unfamiliar people, they should focus on one difference at a time. For instance, if they’re in a new classroom with new classmates, they should start by familiarising themselves with the table just below where they’ll be sitting.

You might say “Take a moment to acquaint yourself with the surface. Observe the imperfections, the dents, and the shine, and truly appreciate the intricate details of that one thing.” Or, “Take the time to become familiar with the seat you’ll be sitting in and notice how it feels beneath you, supporting your bottom and legs. How do the armrests feel? What about the legs of the chair, how do they feel when you rest your feet against them? Simply focus on getting to know one aspect at a time, so that you don’t overwhelm your brain by constantly reminding yourself of all the differences and newness around you. Even if you find yourself in the same environment but with a different teacher, just pick one thing about them to focus on. Maybe their hair is different, their eye colour, or their sense of style. Concentrate on just one of those differences and pay attention to it. Don’t burden yourself by thinking that everything about them is completely different. That will only hinder your ability to truly connect with them. Instead, focus on one difference, if any, and eventually you’ll start to notice similarities. You might realise that they’re actually quite similar to your previous teacher in many ways. Or maybe you’ll notice that the classroom smells the same as before. The chair may be different, but it’s the same style as the one you sat in previously. Once you’ve streamlined the differences and stopped overwhelming yourself with them all at once, it won’t feel like a tidal wave of change hitting you in the face anymore.”

1. We’re approaching it step by step, and then they can turn it around and begin their journey. What shares similarities in some manner, and what’s nearly identical in some way? This will also contribute to creating a feeling of familiarity. And along with that, there will be an increase in comfort, and as time passes, more assurance will follow.

2. We’re tackling it bit by bit, and then they can flip the switch and embark on their path. And what’s comparable, what’s alike in some sense, what’s almost a perfect match in some way. This will also foster a sense of familiarity. As a result, more comfort will arise, and with time, greater certainty will prevail.

3. We’re handling it piece by piece, and then they can turn the tables and begin their journey. What’s alike, what’s similar in some manner, what’s nearly indistinguishable in some way. This will also contribute to establishing a sense of familiarity. As a result, more comfort will accompany it, and with the passage of time, more certainty will emerge.

By Gemma Bailey
www.NLP4Kids.org/gemma-bailey