When a child says they don’t want to go to school, your mind might jump straight to bullying, anxiety, or academic pressure. But what if the real problem is none of those things?

Sometimes, the real issue is buried layers deep.

**The Meal Wasn’t the Problem – But It Triggered the Problem**

Recently, a friend reached out while I was away, worried about her child’s sudden dread of school. “She’s been crying every morning,” she said. “And I don’t know why.”

This sort of issue is something our **coaching franchise** practitioners encounter all the time. On the surface, it sounds like a simple emotional block — a case of school reluctance. But I suspected something more.

Because I’d lived it.

When I was a child, I barely ate. At secondary school, they even offered me hormone injections or a special high-calorie meal plan to help me grow. But long before that, eating had always been a challenge.

My nan used to say, “She doesn’t eat enough to keep a fly alive.” 🪰

Now imagine pairing that with awful school dinners. The kind that actually *discourage* eating. And since I was on free school meals, I didn’t have the option to bring in food I might actually like.

I wasn’t eating. But that wasn’t the real problem.

Because I didn’t eat, I was kept in at lunchtime — expected to stare at the cold mash and grey meat until I magically developed an appetite.

All while my friends went out to play.

**What Looks Like FOMO Is Actually Something Deeper**

*The real pain wasn’t the food, or missing out on playtime. It was the rejection that followed.*

When I finally did make it outside, the game was already in full swing. The roles were cast — someone was the mum, someone the dad, the baby, the dog.

Showing up late meant I didn’t *fit*. It wasn’t bullying. It wasn’t cruelty. It was just logistics. But as a kid, it felt like a full-blown social shutdown.

That moment of exclusion shaped the rest of my day — *every* day. I felt rejected, unworthy, and uninvited.

**Kids Don’t Always Know How to Say What’s Wrong**

*They just know something feels really, really bad.*

That’s why we teach our **coaching franchise** practitioners to go beyond the surface. To dig, gently and curiously. Because if you take a child at face value, you might only treat the symptom — not the source.

Children can’t always articulate rejection, shame, or identity wounds. But those emotions exist and they matter.

In our **coaching franchise**, we don’t just teach people how to help kids “cope” with the visible problem. We train them to uncover the real issue and empower the child from the inside out.

**Your Job Isn’t to Patch the Surface – It’s to Heal the Roots**

So if a child you know is struggling to go to school, pause. Listen. And dig a little deeper.

It might not be about school at all.
It might be about missing out.
Or loneliness.
Or fear of rejection.

Or maybe… it’s about wanting to belong — and not knowing how.

by Gemma Bailey (with the help of Ai)

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