I’ve been wondering how it would go down if I slapped one of the girls in the office.

Not for no reason – but let’s say, hypothetically, she made a mistake that caused a real problem in the business. I wouldn’t do it out of anger, just as a punishment. A way to “teach her a lesson.”

Outrageous, right?

When Physical Punishment Is Still Considered “Reasonable”

Not only would it make me incredibly unpopular (and rightly so), I’d likely end up with a call from the police. Because adults have legal protection from being physically assaulted – even in the name of discipline.

But children? In England and Northern Ireland, they don’t have the same level of protection. The current law allows “reasonable punishment” – a phrase so vague, it leaves the door wide open for all sorts of outcomes.

Right now, there’s an open letter signed by 13 health and social care organisations, including the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health and the Institute of Health Visiting. It’s being debated in the House of Lords alongside the Children’s Wellbeing and Schools Bill. The conversation is this: should smacking children be illegal in England and Northern Ireland, just as it already is in Scotland and Wales?

🧠 “The law currently protects adults from assault more than it does children – our most vulnerable group.”

When the Punishment Teaches the Wrong Lesson

I wasn’t smacked often as a child. Just twice.

Once by my dad, when I asked for soup instead of a full dinner while my mum was in hospital. He insisted I eat a meal I knew I couldn’t finish. When I tried to sneak off mid-meal and accidentally sent my plate flying across the room, I got smacked. He told me I could have my soup now and stormed off to the pub.

The second time was my mum. She flicked water at me while brushing her teeth and giggling. I returned the favour – but harder – and got her work clothes wet. She smacked me too. But this time, I remember she was truly remorseful.

In both cases, I wasn’t being destructive or malicious. I was a small child with small emotions and no real tools to express them. In both cases, what I learned was not “how to behave better,” but that my honesty or irritation was punishable, even if my actions weren’t intentional.

“Many parents believe smacking is discipline – but if it truly worked, why do they have to do it more than once?”

Why the Law Isn’t Just About Extremes – It’s About Clarity

Of course, there are people who firmly believe in their right to use physical discipline. But I’d urge you to ask – does it work? Or does it just release your frustration while teaching a child nothing useful at all?

At NLP4Kids, we support families in learning better tools – because we know that when smacking is on the table, it’s often a sign that other strategies are missing. Many parents struggle to tell the difference between when their child is misbehaving… and when their child just doesn’t understand.

That’s where we come in. As a coaching franchise focused on helping children regulate emotions, learn communication skills and rebuild family trust, we offer something that punishment never will – connection and long-term change.

So here’s my question for you, whether you’re a parent, teacher, or therapist:

Have you ever smacked a child? And if so, how did you feel afterwards?
Did it work the way you hoped it would?
Or did it just add another layer of regret to a moment already full of tension?

We’d love to hear your thoughts.

👉 Join the conversation and see how our NLP4Kids practitioners are supporting families without punishment.

by Gemma Bailey (with the help of Ai)

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