The Secret to Developing Resilience

I had the opportunity to attend an event with the NLP4Kids team where we delved into the topic of resilience. Together, we compiled a comprehensive list of strategies that we believe are incredibly valuable in nurturing and fostering resilience in young individuals. We unanimously agreed that developing resilience in children and young people is crucial for their emotional well-being and overall success in life. Resilience, after all, is the ability to bounce back from challenges and setbacks, and it is a skill that can be honed through practice.

Personally, I firmly believe that true resilience is born out of experiencing and overcoming tough situations in life. It is through these experiences that we learn and grow, ultimately emerging stronger than before. However, I couldn’t help but wonder if there were certain underlying attributes that could help individuals develop resilience even if they haven’t faced significant hardships in the past. And so, we embarked on a quest to find out.

Our first discovery was the importance of teaching young people to take responsibility for their actions instead of placing blame on others. It may be uncomfortable at times, but sitting with that discomfort and accepting responsibility is a crucial step towards building resilience. Additionally, we emphasised the significance of instilling confidence and fostering high self-esteem in young individuals. If these foundations are lacking, it becomes essential to prioritize working on these areas first.

Furthermore, we found that cultivating a mindset and attitude of “I’ll be okay no matter what” is vital. Letting go of the pursuit of perfection is also crucial, especially if your child tends to be a perfectionist. Addressing this tendency is key to enhancing their resilience. Lastly, we highlighted the value of showcasing real-life examples of resilient individuals, including those from history. Even if immediate role models may not be readily available, we can draw inspiration from the resilient figures that exist in the world.

These insights form the foundation of our strategies for nurturing resilience in young people. By implementing these practices, we can empower the next generation to navigate life’s challenges with strength and resilience.

It’s crucial for parents to empower their children to become resourceful problem solvers and independent thinkers. Instead of always providing immediate answers or solving problems for them, it’s important to encourage children to find their own solutions and answer their own questions. This is especially important for anxious children who constantly seek reassurance. By teaching them to self-soothe and find answers within themselves, we help them become more self-reliant.

We also believe that it’s beneficial for parents and professionals to show vulnerability. It’s okay to admit when we feel uncertain or insecure about something. It’s important for children to understand that nobody is perfect and that everyone faces challenges in life. To lighten the mood and reframe negative experiences, we can use humour. By embracing failures and not letting them define us, we can release the burden they place on us. It’s also important to stop comparing ourselves to the idealized versions of people we see on our screens and instead focus on real-life connections.

Lastly, building a strong support network of family and friends is crucial for developing resilience. We teach children and young people to seek help and support when they need it and to be there for others in return. By fostering meaningful relationships, children and young people can cultivate the resilience necessary to overcome obstacles and thrive.

By Gemma Bailey

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